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11 October 2009 @ 04:10 pm
As tears fall  

Title: As tears fall
Genre: angst
Pairing: Akame
Disclaimer: Even Johnny doesn't own them..
Summary: Tears. Different emotions, same thing happens..tears fall

A/N: Inspired from the song 7 things, I wrote this drabble a long time ago and I think I should post it now before deleting it on my drafts lol the story isn't connected but by reading it, somehow you can tell that it has the same theme..Comments are loved! ( btw, I haven't got the time to proofread it so, sorry for the errors and such)



Sorrow is with us not because we are bad at stopping it, but simply because it's part of being human. What matters is not whether good or bad things happen - both will, but your relationship to them. Just think back over the last 24 hours, - what had you taken hard that you could have taken lightly? –taken from my daily message from God at facebook


I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change
Until you hear, my dear


To be honest, I don’t remember what it feels like being loved by you…those smiles you shared with me, was it all true or was it just a façade all along? Nevertheless, I can perfectly remember how it was to love you, because even now I know that I still do.


It scared the crap out of Kame when it suddenly poured heavy rain outside, He fucked up real bad when he remembered that he didn’t brought an umbrella with him, ‘damn’ he cursed inwardly, he just finished shooting a commercial and he was dead tired by now. He just wants to go home. Thinking to himself that he should just wait for the rain to subside then go straight to his car.

Kame extended his right hand to feel the rush of the pouring rain directly cascading on his palm. It felt so cold yet refreshing at the same time, the feeling is so natural that he wants to soak himself from the rain and just feel its coldness and warmth at the same time.


Finally Kame decided to drag his feet to move under the shade, when suddenly an umbrella was hovered above him and a familiar voice stopped him from doing it, “Don’t, it’s a pain in the ass to get sick nowadays, trust me”


Kame remained immobile, “Trust you? Please Akanishi, just fuck off” then he spun around, “you’re the one to talk now, huh? When you go clubbing every night, drinking your brains out”


Kame hissed and despite listening to the other’s words, he walked out from the shade of the building and let the pouring rain cascade all over him; soaking himself.


“I just care about you”


A moment of silence passed, neither of the two taking their eyes off from each other. Kame was shocked to hear what the older had said. He just stood under the pouring rain; completely dumbfounded.


“You don’t have to care about me anymore” came the soft reply, Kame let the tears flow because he knows that the rain is on his side and it'll help him mask his emotions under its shower.


Then in just a flash, a body was wrapped into his, embracing him, cherishing him..and yes, he never even once forgotten that warmth.


“Don’t say that..I have every right to care about you, you’re my..friend


And with that, Kame let the tears flow uncontrollably not minding what Jin might react. Shielding my fragileness to the person I’ve worked so hard to hide from, I rested my head on the crook of his neck and let the rain do its task, shielding us from one another yet binding us together.


“Thank you”


The 7 things I hate about you!
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy

Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you



I guess you’re not perfect, nobody is..but in my eyes you’re different, perfectly different.


“I don’t give a damn if you’re out partying all night with your friends, but Jin you have to remember that you’re an idol! And you have to be conscious of your actions when you’re out on public.”


“One fucking idol aren’t I? I just wanna let loose and have fun, and to think that you’re the person who can understand me the most, I guess I was wrong..”


Those harsh words coming from Jin, Kame thought he can take it but the way his eyes pierce and how his expression changed, how he got disappointed was something Kame couldn’t bear. ‘I’m so sorry Jin’but the words never left his mouth and he guess it was all too late.


“I’m out” Jin declared before giving him a chance to talk.


***


When are you going to see that I’m in pain? I’m in pain with you yet at the same time I feel like flying, because I know that you’re there to catch me if ever I fall.


Endless fights, selfish words, what was yet to come? I can’t bear it anymore, but I will try my best to, because of the simple reason that I love you.


“Call me when you get back” Kame smiled sadly, he understands that Jin needs the company of his friends whenever he’s free from work; from Kame perhaps.


“Yeah, sure” came the impatient reply, almost hinting that he wants to hang up now.


“Have fun..and Jin-”


“Yeah? Faster Kame I don’t have the whole day”


“I love you”


“I know, goodnight” and Jin hanged up.


It wasn’t the same response Kame was expecting, and so, he just closed his eyes and let the unwanted tears flow. He couldn’t bring back what was gone a long time ago, so all he could hope for was to preserve what he has with Jin right now.



-at the bar-



Jin was a bit disturbed, no scratch that he was so disturbed. He hadn’t returned Kame’s affection on the phone awhile ago and it keeps on distracting him all through the night.


“Pi, I better go home..I’m just not in the mood to party right now”


“Nonsense! You only have two days off before your filming starts, have fun while you can” Pi ignored Jin’s statement.


“I know, but- don’t get this the wrong way..I made a mistake, I’d rather be with someone’s side right now”


And with that, Yamapi nodded fully understanding who that ‘someone’ Jin was referring to.


“Okay, I understand..have fun” Pi smiled, responding with the same words that Kame told Jin earlier. And Jin smiled, he’s lucky to have two understanding persons in his life.



-at Kame’s apartment-



Since Jin has a key to Kame’s door, he sneaked inside the latter’s apartment. When he opened the door he was surprised that the lights were off in the living room. Kame isn’t the one to slack off during his free time, maybe he was just tired Jin thought, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew what is the reason.


Jin went upstairs and when he opened the door to Kame’s room, he saw Kame’s sleeping figure lying unconsciously on the bed..completely dozed off. He stared at Kame’s sleeping form, He’s too cute for a 23-year old’ Jin thought smiling to himself. After mesmerizing, Jin leaned on the latter and gave him a peck on the forehead.


Kame stirred a bit and woke from the slight contact. He was surprised to see Jin hovering above him closely.


“Jin, what are you doing here?” voice gentle and soft as he let himself smile, gazing at the face he so much wanted to see.


“Sorry I disturbed your sleep, It’s boring there and I’m not in the mood to party tonight..” Jin reasoned shyly, a bit grinning.


Kame’s smile grew wider, he knew that Jin was just hiding the real reason, he can see it in his eyes..and yeah, his cheeks didn’t lie when it turned crimson red.


“Come here” Kame said as he enveloped Jin in a tight embrace, arms circling around the older man's neck, relishing the fragrance of his lover. Jin obliged, smiling sadly on the crook of Kame’s neck.


“Again, I’m sorry…sorry for being such an asshole awhile ago”


“You shouldn’t be, where are you now? With me right? It just goes to show that you want here, to be with me and that means a lot”


I would always want to be by your side, to have you all through the night..to be here with you at all times, I love you so much


Jin kissed him hard, savoring the crevices of Kame’s mouth, slowly sinking away from everything and anything except the man he has with him right now.


“I love you too Kame, always remember that”



It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology

When you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here


“You like her, don’t you?”


“N-no, I was just- we were just-


“Just stop lying to my face Jin, just tell me directly what it is..if you like her then go! You’re not my property so you can fuck anyone you want, I don’t give a damn” Kame's eyes are tired from suppressing the tears, and it just fell one by one, trickling down his face.


“Yes, I like her, I like the fact that she’s a foreigner. A woman with blonde hair, blue eyes and the like..but- I love you” came Jin's straightforward answer, Kame was never given the chance to talk when Jin wrapped his body to him and he resisted the urge to back away. And when he look straight into his eyes all anger that was boiling inside Kame was gone away in a flash.


“I’m sorry Kame, I really am..that was just for job's sake, it was never anything personal” and Jin leaned in closer and sealed their lips in a passionate kiss completely melting Kame under his embrace.


“I guess I can never really hate you..”


And yeah, at the end of the day, I know that I can’t truly hate you..because it can’t exceed the fact that I love you,
Kame let himself smile.



The 7 things I hate about you!
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy

Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do

You make me love you


To face love is like facing hurt, we tend to focus on the parts that are damaged when we are bound to fall even harder without noticing.


It does hurt. I’d never thought this moment would come..that I almost feel like letting go, but if it would make me stronger; if it could test how our relationship would go, then I guess I have to accept this. Just carry on, and forget about me.


Darkness filled the sky as the coldness of the night breeze embraced his body, making him shiver. Kame reminisced the same scene, just like this night..but with a warm body pressed upon his. He is longing again for him, Jin, the one man that made his heart fall unlike any other.


“Why? Just tell me why Jin, are you that eager to get a life away from your job?!” Kame practically shouted without holding himself back, he was too angry to over think his words.


“I just want freedom Kame. I want to experience a life away from the spotlight. I know I’m selfish leaving all of you behind, but please just try and understand me and my desires..”


“Fuck your desires! Did it ever occur to you that we’re not just physically incomplete in our group, but we’re also spiritually empty without you! Who knows what might happen when you're gone” Kame's voice cracked halfway of his sentence.


“I’m so sorry..”


“What about me Jin? What about us?” Kame almost whispered in a low voice, he was afraid that Jin might see him as fragile but hell he can’t even pretend to be strong anymore. He just let the tears fall down.


Jin couldn’t even look at him like that, it’s like he was going to be shattered into pieces once he says another word, but what could he do? Jin was lost, he doesn’t even know what to say anymore.


“Join me, stay with me..let’s go to LA together” came the straightforward response without thinking of what the consequences might be.


“A-are you even serious with that? Jin, you know what might happen, but then you just offered me like it wasn’t anything serious? How can you be so selfish? I would not leave our group behind.”


“Then what about me?” the same question was thrown right at Kame’s face, he was dumbfounded but still remained calm despite of the rapid beating of his heart ready to explode anytime.


“Jin” came the gentle voice, “I know I would regret making a decision either way but I would stay here..here in Japan with the group. I’m sorry” then without looking back, Kame spun around leaving Jin, tears falling uncontrollably.


Guess this is goodbye, I’m really sorry for leaving you behind..
the same exact words going in their minds right now.



And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention the 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you!
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy

Your hands in mine
When we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like most that you do
You make me love you, you do


I missed you, you know, and I’m still missing you right now. If you come back, will we be able pick up what we left before?
Another lonely tear falls, and another, until it was pouring uncontrollably making him sob like a child. He just wants to see Jin so much, want to embrace him so he couldn’t let go anymore..



***the night before***


Kame was lying on his bed ready doze off in dreamland when his cell phone rang, waking him up from his supposed-to-be deep slumber. He didn’t bother to check the name flashed on the screen, instead he picked up his phone and answered in an irritated voice, “What?!” too annoyed to even greet the caller.


“Kame” came the familiar hoarse voice he didn’t expect to hear. And right now, Kame was fully awake.


“J-jin?” Jin didn’t miss how Kame’s voice cracked when he said his name. He really did miss the younger man’s voice. There was a smile visible on his face, a sad, yearning smile.


“How are you? I’ve missed you..and I'm so sorry” came the gentle tone.


“I’m fine..I missed you so much, Jin” Kame tries hard to suppress his tears from falling, to assure the older man that he was fine and that he doesn’t need to worry about him. But it was too painful to hear Jin’s voice when he can’t even see the older man’s face, he wanted so much to hug him, kiss him and make him stay by his side forever.


“I’m coming back tomorrow”


And with those four words, Kame let his tears fall. Grasping the phone tightly in his hands, yearning so damn much for the man on the other line.


“K-kame, are you okay?”


“Never been better” the latter smiled and they let the comfortable silence fill their ears, no need for words when they know they’ll be seeing each other soon.


It was like two souls trapped in a maze where they are so close yet so far from each other. Still, Jin came back for him... and that alone made Kame love him more.


~end~


A/N: After so many months, finally I was able to post an Akame fic again :) I really did miss writing..I haven't got time though, because of school. Anyways, Comments are loved and appreciated! Sorry for the errors since I haven't proofread it yet..

 
 
Current Location: akame's shower
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: 7 things
 
 
 
アグスティンagustin1982 on February 1st, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
As tears fall
I like it very much^^
Bea ♥akame_koi on February 1st, 2010 01:32 pm (UTC)
Re: As tears fall
thank you! ^^